So drunk its hurt
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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