honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize