How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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