there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
