so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
