Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
