I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
