Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize