It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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