How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
