if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
