It's Friday. Sex?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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