Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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