you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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