The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
