I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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