looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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