worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
