well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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