i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
