he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize