I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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