I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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