Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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