and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just blew my weed a kiss
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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