Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
