If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
