Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
