Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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