Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
