Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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