what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
