Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
