Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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