I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
