see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
