oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
