I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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