Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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