Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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