No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
