can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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