drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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