Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize