I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
