It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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