Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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