im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
