I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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