Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
