Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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