Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
