My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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