Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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