why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
