what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
