I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I look better un-naked...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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