drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
