You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
