What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
