and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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