just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
no, he came in my armpit
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
