Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
