He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
