it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
