Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I look better un-naked...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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