I just cut my nipple shaving
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
