That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
