Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's the barista slut.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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