As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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