I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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