I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have aggressive nipples.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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