yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize