i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize