dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
