It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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