Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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