It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
